Remember When I Said Most Fat Guys Are Endearing People? Not This Guy.
I hate to keep harping on the fact that I thoroughly dislike athletes who let themselves go and have no redeeming qualities (OK, who am I kidding? I love it), but Phil Mickelson reeeeally gets my ire up."Lefty" was brought up as your classic country club, caviar-pounding, smug douchebag with a sweet swing. Then he became one of the most promising young players on tour, even as people were starting to wonder, "When's this guy gonna break the seal (win a Major, not open a can of Spam)?" He even nurtured his turd status, becoming known as one of the most unapproachable stars on tour, often rebuffing fans' requests for autographs.
So Tiger Woods explodes onto the scene in 1996 and abruptly steals virtually all of Phat Phil's thunder. Now, if I was a professional athlete, considered to be THE NEXT BIG THING, and some 20 year old punk rolled up and said, "Welp, Hello World!" I feel like I would step up my training and get into prime physical condition and bust my ass out on the links.
What did Phil do?
He traded in the caviar for the Homestyle Country Buffet.
He gained about 50 pounds, started sweating like a pig and looking less like the Next Jack Nicklaus and more like the Next Craig Stadler, and proceeded to not win a Major in his first 42 attempts (several of these disappointments were of the Big League Choke variety)
Yes, he had a great year last year, but you could feel the sense that no one really fancies Mickelson as the Arnie to Tiger's Golden Bear. Sure enough, he reverted to the Lefty we all know and loathe, pissing away the U.S. Open a few weeks ago (and compelling him to utter one of the most satisfying retrospective comments ever: "I am still in shock that I did that. I just can't believe I did that. I'm such an IDIOT!!").
Having said this, having him in the final group of the Majors is great for golf. While the other 3 golfers in the Big 5 often challenge Tiger to step his game and training up, Phil is by far the biggest name.
Right now, if he's really trying to find his killer instinct to truly become a transcendent talent, he's looking much more like Shamu than Jaws.
(Enter Shameless Photo of Athlete's Hot Wife)
